


The Episodes as Limericks

by SuBethJimBob



Series: The Poetic Sentinel [1]
Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Gen, LOTS OF SPOILERS, Spoilers, after all - these are episode summaries, really massive spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-05
Updated: 2014-01-05
Packaged: 2018-01-07 15:08:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 1,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1121308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuBethJimBob/pseuds/SuBethJimBob
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first six episodes of The Sentinel summarized in Limerick form</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Switchman (Pilot) -- In 5 Acts

**Author's Note:**

> Okay. These were originally written as our dues for a mailing list. But I've enjoyed reading everyone else's stuff so much, I thought I ought to contribute. Though you'll probably disagree with that sentiment after reading these. ::grin::
> 
> That being said, the motivation behind this exercise in ridiculousness is: I wanna see if I can summarize every episode in limerick form. Hey! No one ever claimed I was sane! Anyway, Archer and I brainstormed these together... (yeah, brainstorm... or is that brain damage?) and -- since we already sent 'em in for dues, decided to subject -- share -- these with y'all.
> 
> \-----
> 
> _The above note was written years ago (sometime in 1998, I think), when the limericks were written. They've been up on Cascade Library for aeons, and I decided they needed a wider distribution. ::grin::_

**The Switchman (Pilot)** _\-- In 5 Acts_

The Switchman made buildings go "Boom"  
Banks and Plummer had gathered a room  
Of experts to seek  
And to find -- just a peek!  
Any ev'dence, as a deadline did loom.

Now Banks' best detective was Jim  
Whose senses had him on the rim  
A grad student named Blair  
(Who had long, curly hair)  
Knew just what had happened to him.

The perp was found leading a junket  
On a bus -- he's a girl! Who'd'a thunk it??  
Blair then popped her one  
And got hold of her gun  
While Jim found the bomb and then flung it.

Jim decided he'd partner with Blair  
Which caused Captain Taggart to stare  
Jim said a cadet  
Blair'd have to be yet  
Blair yelled, "I'm not cutting my hair!"


	2. Siege -- In 7 Acts

**Siege** _\-- In 7 Acts_

A madman named Garrett Kincaid  
Shut down the police of Cascade  
He took over the station  
With much devastation  
Demands to the gov'nor he made.

"Sun Rise Patriots have you in thrall  
Give me back my men, heed the call!"  
Dangled Daryl from high  
Shot Taggart in the thigh  
And threatened to kill one and all.

Blair was in the men's rest  
Room to pee in a cup for a test  
Choice of weapons was lean  
Stall door, vending 'chine  
On a scaffold, he hid from the rest.

Brought to Kincaid, Blair thought he'd die  
So he spun out a fanciful lie  
"I'm a vice cop," he said  
"Better living than dead"  
Joel agreed and was kicked in the thigh.

Jim and Simon came in from the cold  
The welds on the door were not old  
Up the stairs they did run  
With the cool morphing gun  
Their actions incredibly bold.

In a chopper Kincaid took our Blair  
Under feet he found a gun -- flare  
Jim and Kincaid did tangle  
From a strut they did dangle  
Blair said, "I've flown choppers... Land there."

Banks confronted Jim on the roof  
Jim promised to tell him the truth  
Blair said, "Is this day  
The norm? Typical? Hey!"  
Jim patted his cheeks like a goof.


	3. Killers -- In 6 Acts

**Killers** _\-- In 6 Acts_  
  
Jim knew a young cop, Danny Choi  
He'd known him since he was a boy  
With a shot from on high  
In Jim's arms he did die  
"It's too late," Blair did say with no joy.  
  
Jim saw Tommy Juno, a killer  
Whose arrest, the DA, it did thrill her  
Jim said, at the BAR  
"I saw him from afar"  
Jim's statement, with dread it did fill her.  
  
An alibi came to the front  
Jim's words were knocked out with a punt  
From the court Tom went free  
Taunted Jim with great glee  
And the Sentinel went out on the hunt.  
  
Juno aimed for the pretty DA  
Jim chased after him to delay  
The shot winged her lair  
She was saved by brave Blair  
Jim dropped him three floors, there he lay.  
  
It seemd the good guys, they did win  
The killer had paid for his sin  
But old records were found  
And then jaws hit the ground  
Tommy Juno, it seemed, had a twin.  
  
Tommy held frightened Bev by her hair  
Dead Dylan sat there, in a chair  
They effected a trade  
'Til a goof-up was made  
So they shot him and got out of there.


	4. The Debt -- In 4 Acts

**The Debt** _\-- In 4 Acts_  
  
Blair's warehouse was in dismal shape  
Where he lived with a Barbary Ape  
Named Larry and he  
Was hooked on violent TV  
(No, not Blair, I mean Larry! The ape!!)  
  
The warehouse next door - it went "Boom!"  
Throwing Jim, Blair and Lar' 'cross the room  
'Twas a street gang's drug lab  
Nothing's left but a dab  
Of clues for the cops to consume.  
  
A good cop was framed by a bad  
With a gun that he thought he still had  
Jim knew guilt was put  
On a very wrong foot  
And said he would help find the cad.  
  
Blair, in a jacket and tie  
Was guarding an old lady - Why?  
She's the good cop's grandma  
Raised him just like his pa  
The bad guys were nabbed on the fly.


	5. Cypher -- In 5 Acts

**Cypher** _\-- In 5 Acts_  
  
A serial killer is stalking Cascade  
Becoming each victim he's made  
Yellow scarf 'round the throat  
And they drowned, but no boat  
In the tub they were left, bare and daid.  
  
A Fibbie named Bates, he's a shrink  
Could determine how killers did think  
"He's becoming each victim"  
Blair said. (Bates 'greed with him)  
"After throwing each one in the drink."  
  
"Who am I now" on the mirror was wrote  
By Bates (he's the perp, we should note)  
He grabbed Blair at the loft  
Like the wolf, hoft and poft  
Blair gone, and the mess, got Jim's goat.  
  
Blair woke chained in an old dentist's chair  
To see Lash (he's the perp) in fake hair  
Blair screamed in his face  
Lash picked up the pace  
And before you would know it, drugged Blair.  
  
Jim found them after a mad dash  
Saved Blair, and five times he shot Lash  
The next day Blair did lecture  
"You're my 'Blessed Protector'  
Think I'll get a tattoo of a badge."  
  



	6. Night Train -- In 7 Acts

**Night Train** _\-- In 7 Acts_  
  
In the kitchen, Blair made up a brew  
To help Jim get over the flu  
It smelled like wet yak  
Jim said, "I'll take none of that"  
And into a napkin he blew.  
  
Simon summoned his fav'rite detective  
And gave him a solemn directive  
"You and Blair will maintain  
A watch on this night train  
Of a witness you will be protective."  
  
As watchman, Jim gave Blair his gun  
Said, "Let no one in. No, no one!"  
Blair said, "A password?  
One that will be heard?"  
Jim said, "I'll just say 'Ellison.'"  
  
Because things were proceeding fast  
Jim knew with this cold, he'd not last  
Instead of a pill  
He took some SenQuil  
His senses took off with a blast.  
  
The bad guys were waiting to go  
Through the door in a gun waving show,  
Our brave Sentinel did grin  
"What jerks -- sure I'll win!"  
And was thrown by the punks out a window!!  
  
While Blair to a JD was handcuffed  
His attraction was suitably rebuffed  
Poor Jim underneath  
The train -- gritting teeth  
Remembered some lab tests and was not muffed.  
  
Now Sentinel uses his brain  
Banks drives down the tracks like a lane  
Jim jumped from the Jeep  
With an inaudible 'EEEP'  
And all of the bad guys restrained.


End file.
